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Let’s review the First Amendment, shall we? It reads: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

It does not say we get to yell “fire” in a crowded theater. Joke about bombs in an airport. Prevent a law-abiding religious community from building a mosque. Verbally assault callers to a radio talk show or throw around racially insensitive language without repercussion. The First Amendment assures us of many protections but it is not specifically designed or intended to give carte blanche to ill-mannered, bigoted, and socially clueless people to be hateful and idiotic. Oh, they can surely be those things – let Freedom ring – but our great Constitution is not the safe zone for all manner of misbegotten behavior.

There are two purportedly First Amendment hot buttons flaring at the moment. Let’s start with the mosque protests:

I get the nuances. We all do. 9/11 impacted the world but no place more than New York and no people more than those who lost loved ones. But the lost loved ones included people of every race, creed and color, including Muslims, so what’s the real issue? Beyond nuance, there is no explanation to protest this building other than bigotry. None. You can use the We Must Be Sensitive to The 9/11 Families Card but it sags in the middle. Do the 9/11 Families really need us to become narrowminded bigots to assuage their grief?  I don’t think so. This specious argument is just sheep’s clothing on a gnashing, snarling point of prejudice: Muslims blew up the World Trade Center, therefore all Muslims are bad (i.e., terrorists, almost terrorists, parents of terrorists, funders of terrorists…) and these bad people and their religion will remind the 9/11 families of those who took their loved ones’ lives and so we must be sensitive to that potential and prevent all Muslims from any representation near anyone or any area affected by 9/11. Really???  That holds water? Taking that logic a step further, it would stand to reason, then, that since American terrorist Timothy McVeigh was a declared Christian, out of deference and sensitivity to those families who suffered losses at the Murrah Building in Oklahoma City, NO CHURCHES OR CHRISTIAN CENTERS SHOULD BE BUILT ANYWHERE NEAR THAT HALLOWED PLACE. But there are nine churches in the area. Nine Christian churches near the building bombed all to hell by a Christian man. I don’t see anyone lined up waving placards about spitting on graves or screaming about First Amendment rights to protest those wily, destructive Christians. But apparently it is acceptable to denounce, vilify and discriminate against an entire Islamic religion based on the acts of the fanatical few.  And the First Amendment should protect your right to do so. Hmmm.

Then, on a lighter but no less specious note, there’s Dr. Laura.  Oh, Dr. Laura. Dear Miz Schlessinger. The radio “therapist.” The doctor of physiology. The woman who introduces herself as “my son’s mother” (her teeth grind while saying “feminists” and she’s stated that Planned Parenthood is a radical organization, so it stands to reason she’d consider a woman’s procreative status the truest form of feminine identity…I got tired just writing that). Odd that someone so possessive of her maternal role with its requisite job description of mentor/teacher/model should so consistently behave in the rude, inconsiderate, arrogant manner that would surely get a kid sent to time-out tout de suite. If the son I mothered ever treated people with the disdain and disrespect she wields as a matter of course, I’d consider myself a parental failure and him a permanent resident of his room.

But maybe that’s what just happened. Miz Schlessinger has finally been given a societal time-out.  The Listening Public has finally reached its tipping point with her spouted lunacy and has yelled “ENOUGH!” and so she’s headed for the corner to calm down and potentially learn a lesson. But lo and behold, instead of taking it like a woman, this exemplar of moral certitude has gone constitutionally postal, ranting to Larry King about how she needs to quit radio to have the freedom to exercise her First Amendment rights since “I don’t have the right to say what I want.”  My God, I thought when I heard that, what on earth haven’t you said that you’d like to?? I shudder to think.

The fact is, Miz Schlessinger has been given free rein and made a fabulous living saying and doing pretty much exactly what she pleases, with little regard for the emotional impact, particularly on her ambushed callers.  The to-do list on her microphone must read something like: insult their intelligence, diminish their problems, cut them off rudely, promote conservative agenda in lieu of true therapeutic assistance, yell like a raging mother, condescend, treat them like idiot children, patronize, be passive-aggressive…oh, the list could go on. I have often wondered why, oh why, do these people actually call and put themselves in line for her abuse and humiliation? How desperate do you have to be to publicly avail yourself of the ministrations of Mean Girl Mommie Dearest when a true therapist would actually have your well being in mind rather than their own agenda?

Miz Schlessinger has disingenuously co-opted the very real issue of free speech to defend her behavior and justify her “I’ll take my ball and go home” pout. Fitting for a woman of her arrogance.  Let’s be clear: where real free speech is being squashed, may the Constitution be held high. In this case, please, doctor, step away from the Bullying Pulpit, sit down, shut up, and learn some manners.

I’m thrilled that Dr. Laura’s leaving radio; the listening public and those vulnerable callers will be better off for it.  I hope the mosque in New York gets built and caring Muslims can practice their faith and show their inherent compassion as vital members of our community. Let’s respect our Constitution by saving it for those issues that deserve the weighty power of its thoughtful amendments.

To squander it on rude and racially insensitive talk show hosts and placard-waving religious bigots seems like a big, fat waste of our very precious rights.

Photo credits:

First Amendment poster @ www.encyclopedia.com

Dr. Laura & Mosque Protest photos; artists unknown

Pulpit photo @ www.redlionantiquestexas.com

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